Image source: https://www.elim.org.uk
What if
we started a discussion about modesty by talking first about Jesus?
Have you
ever thought of Jesus as a modest person, in his demeanor, his conduct,
his speech, and even his appearance? As disciples of Christ, let's approach the “sensitive” subject of modesty by asking, “How can we imitate and
honor the modesty of our Master in our thoughts, words, relationships, appearance,
and deeds?” When that is our aim, our only aim, we will find it much easier to
make the everyday external choices regarding how we dress and act.
Regarding
Jesus’ own modesty, let’s consider a revealing statement in Matthew 21:5. In his triumphal
entry into Jerusalem, he fulfilled the “modesty” prophecy found in Zechariah
9:9.
Matt
21:5 “Say to the daughter
of Zion, ‘Behold your King is coming to you, gentle, and mounted on a donkey, even
on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.’”
The way
we dress, speak, and act can say a lot about who we are, what we believe, and
what we seek. The world urges us to dress less and show more, to promote
ourselves, and to draw attention to ourselves. “Fit in! Impress others with how
you look, how you live, and how much you have! Attract the opposite sex! Look
cool and cute!” However, Jesus’ life tells a far different story.
Modesty
and Jesus Christ
The
prophet Isaiah predicted Jesus’ modesty 700+ years before his birth.
Isa
53:2 …
He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance
that we should be attracted to Him.
Isa
42:1 Behold my servant,
whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my Spirit upon
him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. 2 He
will not cry aloud or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; 3 a
bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice. 4 He
will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the
earth; and the coastlands wait for his law.
The
Gospel of Matthew quotes that second passage after noting this about Jesus.
Matt
12:15 Jesus, aware of this,
withdrew from there. And many followed him, and he healed them all 16 and
ordered them not to make him known. 17 This
was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah: 18 “Behold,
my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased. I
will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles. 19 He
will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets; 20 a
bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until
he brings justice to victory; 21 and
in his name the Gentiles will hope.”
Jesus
was not showy. His appearance was not particularly attractive or impressive. He
wasn’t concerned about being first in line, but rather last. He didn’t seek to
enrich himself, but rather to enrich others at his own expense. He didn’t “keep
score” using any fleshly, material, social, or economic standards.
What
is modesty?
It’s common practice to focus first on the external, especially on the dangers
of immodest clothing, gaudy jewelry, and an extravagant lifestyle. However, all
of these outward elements actually express matters of the heart – one’s
attitude, faith, values, and priorities.
For a disciple
of Jesus Christ, everything – yes, everything – starts with Jesus
Christ. Having died to self and sin, and having been buried with him in
baptism, one rises to begin living a transformed life (Romans 6-8 – read it
all!).
Modesty
is moderation in one’s estimation of his own abilities, accomplishments, or
value. It is humility, meekness, reserve or propriety in speech, dress, and
behavior. To be modest is to focus on what is honorable, respectable, decent, and
appropriate.
Rom
12:3
For by the grace given to me I say to each of you not to think more highly of
himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as
God has allotted to each a measure of faith.
Rom
12:16
… be of the same mind toward one another; be not haughty in mind, but associate
with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
Phil
2:3 Do nothing from
selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than
yourselves. 4 Let each of you look
not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Phil
4:8 Finally, brothers,
whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if
there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Jas
3:17 But the wisdom from
above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and
good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And
a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
What is
the opposite of modesty? Extravagance, showiness, selfish pride, and narcissism.
Improper attempts to impress, attract, and draw others to oneself by behavior,
speech, lifestyle, or dress. “Look at me!”
Even
when scripture talks about clothing, jewelry, and other outward factors, it
connects these elements to one’s prior commitment to Christlike godliness.
Modesty
and Adornment: 1 Tim 2:9-10
1 Tim
2:9 Likewise, I want women to adorn (kosmeo*) themselves with proper (kosmios*)
clothing, modestly (aidos**) and discreetly (sophrosune***), not
with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means
of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
*>>>“cosmos” and “cosmetics.”
** With
proper respect for convention, even reverence (Heb 12:28). KJV has
“shamefacedness,” the ability to feel shame and to blush.
*** With
sound judgment, rationality, self-control, moderation.
The
Christian woman’s primary adornment: her good works. Why? Because she is all
about godliness (reverence for God).
She
adorns herself, not with an outward show, highlighting externals, but with good
works. Why? Because that’s what fits her claim to godliness.
By the
way, the primary issue in this text is overdressing. One can be immodest
in either direction. Underdressing – showing too much, needing more clothes.
Overdressing – showing off with excessive outward adornment.
How can
modesty describe both of these? Because modesty describes the person who does
not say, “Look at me based on my outward appearance!” One who seeks to create
the WOW factor, either by wearing too little or by dressing extravagantly, is
immodest.
Our
clothes make a statement. Our appearance, just like our speech and conduct,
should not draw undue attention to ourselves.
May our
appearance not say “sex,” “money,” or “pride,” but “godliness,” “purity,” and “moderation.”
Modesty
and Adornment: 1 Peter 3:1-6
1 Pet
3:1 Likewise, wives, be
subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they
may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when
they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do
not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of
gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but
let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For
this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by
submitting to their own husbands, 6 as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do
good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Again,
adornment. Not first of all external, but “the hidden person of the heart, with
the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the
sight of God.”
Its
quality and source: that of a gentle and quiet spirit.
Why?
Because that’s what God sees and considers as precious.
Because
the Christian woman is holy and hopes in God, like Sarah.
She will
not compromise. She must not!
Think of
Sarah. A beautiful woman, so that Abraham constantly feared that someone would
kill him and take her! Yet today we know nothing specific about her physical
appearance. What does it matter?
Christians
don’t think, speak, act, or dress like the world. We are holy, set apart, and consecrated
by God and for God.
Modesty
and Principles
A woman
– or a man! – whose primary adornment when “getting dressed” for life each day
is good works that please God …
and
whose primary “claim to fame” is his or her intense desire to be godly …
will
naturally speak, act, and dress modestly …
lean on
the cautious side and the conscience side …
and
welcome the genuine help of others in that shared pursuit.
Modesty
is first an attitude, not an action.
It
begins with how one dresses the heart, not the body.
The
outside reflects the inside, as the fruit reveals the tree.
Modesty
and Clothing, Speech, and Behavior
Respect
yourself, your privacy, your space, and your value.
Don’t
cheapen yourself in your own eyes or the eyes of others.
Be
transformed, not conformed. Be different. Be holy. Rom 12:1-2.
Adorn
yourself with holiness first, before you speak, act, or dress.
When
peers affect your choices, change your peers, not yourself.
Take
thought for, respect what is right in the sight of all. Rom 12:17.
Remember:
God gave clothes to conceal, not to reveal. Gen 3.
Respect
your conscience. When in doubt, cover more, act out less.
Read Every
Man’s Battle, Every Woman’s Battle, etc. (Arterburn).
Dress in
such a way that most people will not even remember what you wore.
Don’t
wear clothes that call attention to yourself but rather to your purity.
Don’t
act, speak, or dress in order to tease or tantalize.
Ask
yourself why you wear what you wear.
Who do
you want to see you, and what do you want them to think or do when they see
you.
More
like the world, or less like the world.
What
statement you make.
Modesty
and the Home
Modesty
begins in the home. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t preach and teach on the
subject. We must! However, nothing takes the place of mom and dad discussing
and demonstrating biblical modesty at home.
When a
girl or a boy dresses inappropriately, for example, it was the mother or the
father, not the preacher or the elders, who bought those clothes! Parents must
address the modesty question, not only before our children leave the house, but
before even shopping for clothes.
It can
be extremely difficult for male church or camp leaders, who are not a girl’s
father, to talk directly to her about modesty. So, fathers and mothers, step
up! Teach your sons and daughters. This is your job!
Accept
your God-given primary responsibility for such instruction.
Begin
with the inside, “who you are and whose you are.”
Start with, “Because
you love and honor God and you respect yourself and others …”
Show how
the outside (behavior, speech, and dress) reflects such.
Don’t
let them be naïve as to the world’s sexualization and seduction.
Warn
them of cultural idols and celebrities who promote immodesty.
Demonstrate
Christian modesty by the way you yourself act, dress, and speak.
Modesty
and Temptation
Notice
with me the complementary truths found in Romans 13:14 and in Romans 14:13. You
can remember them by swapping the chapter numbers and the verse numbers – 13:14
and 14:13.
Each
follower of Christ is responsible to control his or her eyes, thoughts,
desires, and behavior. Scripture exhorts you and me, “But put on the Lord Jesus
Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans
13:14). If one chooses to lust or practice sexual immorality, that person
chooses to sin.
At the
same time, you and I must “determine not to put an obstacle or stumbling block in
the way of a brother” (Romans 14:13). If I know that my brother is very easily
tempted by money, for example, I will not knowingly put a pile of cash where he
could steal it without being seen!
Likewise,
you and I must not act, speak, or dress in a way that we know may cause
difficulty for members of the opposite sex. This has always been true, but it
is perhaps even more true today than just a few decades ago. Our culture is
sex-crazed. Clothing, television, movies, music, pornography, social media, multiple
websites, and advertising often seek to heighten sexual desire.
So,
remember both 13:14 and 14:13! Guard yourself against sin, but also protect
others who may not guard themselves as carefully as you try to do.
