“One of Us Abstained:” a Powerful Message About Morality

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God …

The following article, written by the father of a 13-year-old boy, speaks directly to the moral issues of our day. His response to a program offered in the local school, though he was ridiculed by others, spoke truth in a way that all could understand.

“One of Us Abstained,” by Robert Layton

I received a notice from my 13-year-old son’s school announcing a meeting to preview a new course in sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and take part in an actual lesson presented exactly as it would be given to the students.

When I arrived at the school, I was surprised to discover only about a dozen parents there. As we waited for the presentation, I thumbed through page after page of instructions in the prevention of pregnancy or disease. I found abstinence mentioned only in passing. When the teacher arrived with the school nurse, she asked if there were any questions.

I asked why abstinence did not play a noticeable part in the educational material.

What happened next was shocking. There was a great deal of laughter, and someone suggested that if I thought abstinence had any merit, I should go back to burying my head in the sand. The teacher and the nurse said nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment. My mind had gone blank, and I could think of nothing to say. The teacher explained to me that the job of the school was to teach “facts” and that the home was responsible for moral training.

I sat in silence for the next 20 minutes as the sexuality course was explained. The other parents seemed to give their unqualified support to the materials.

At the break time, the teacher announced that there were donuts in the back of the room and requested that everyone put on a name tag and mingle with each other. Everyone moved to the back of the room. As I watched them affixing their name tags and shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I was ashamed that I had not been able to convince them to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the educational materials.  I uttered a silent prayer for guidance.

My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher’s hand on my shoulder.

“Won’t you join the others, Mr. Layton?” The nurse smiled sweetly at me.  “The donuts are good.”

“Thank you, no,” I replied.

“Well, then, how about a name tag? I’m sure the others would like to meet you.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” I replied.

“Won’t you please join them?” she coaxed.

Something inside me said, “Don’t go!” “I’ll just wait here,” I said.

When the class was called back to order, the teacher looked around the long table and thanked everyone for putting on name tags. She ignored me.  Then she said, “Now we’re going to give you the same lesson we’ll be giving your children. Everyone please remove your name tags and look at the back of the tag.”

I watched in silence as the tags came off. The teacher said, “Now then, I put a picture of a flower on the back of one of the tags. Who has it, please?”

The gentleman across from me held it up. “Here it is!”

“All right,” she said. “The flower represents disease. Do you recall with whom you shook hands?” He pointed to a couple of people. “Very good,” she replied. “The handshake in this case represents intimacy. So the two people you had contact with now have the disease.” There was laughter and joking among the parents.

The teacher continued, “And whom did the two of you shake hands with?”   The point was well taken, and she explained how this lesson would show students how quickly disease is spread.

She concluded by saying, “Since we all shook hands, we all have the disease.”

Once again, something inside me said, “Speak now, but be humble.”  I rose from my chair. I apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier. I congratulated the teacher on an excellent lesson that would impress the youth.

I concluded by saying I had only one point I wished to make. “Not all of us were infected with the disease,” I said.  “One of us …  abstained.”

 

Stewardship - Your Stories

Thanks to everyone for sharing your thoughts about stewardship and about the contrasts between Judah’s choices and behavior and those of Joseph. If you want to add anything to the discussion, send it to me. Thanks for being in our class!

Angela Gutierrez: Hello Cory! Thank you for teaching this class. The life of Joseph was certainly very interesting and we can learn so much from it. On your question about chores and responsibilities, I have some feedback. I grew up in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. I was the oldest and was always considered to be more mature. My sisters, since they were younger, were not given as many responsibilities. They only got things like new toys, trips, cuddles, etc. You know, the not-so-important things. Since I was 12 years old, I was responsible for cooking for my whole family. I cooked for my siblings, my parents, and the men who worked with my father. Every day my dad gave me a generous allowance for the meals. And whatever I didn’t spend, I got to keep. I learned to be creative and frugal. I got a little greedy and progressively made the meals more simple, so that I could save more money. One day my dad complained and I had to change course. So then I had to deal with the decreased source of income. I always enjoyed cooking. Maybe that’s why they entrusted me with such an important chore. God bless. Angela 

Jerry Franklin: As a youngster, I had the following chores: 1. Take care of the dog. 2. Dry the evening dishes. 3. Take care of the yard: mowing, trimming, and edging. I learned the importance of taking care of things that were important to my parents and to me (the dog).

Stewardship occurs when you are given the responsibility of taking care of property that does not belong to you, whereas taking care of your own property is natural or normal. I would say the greater responsibility is taking care of others’ property.

Judah’s behavior was sexually immoral, whereas Joseph’s behavior was honorable by not giving in to Potiphar’s wife’s sexual advances.

Nancy Boyd: Mother taught us girls to clean house, do laundry, dust and eventually learned to cook which helped when I got married. I also took care and watched over my little sister to make sure she stayed out of trouble. My mother had to work & there were times when we got older that we took care of each other & cleaned house & cooked dinner to help Mother.

Stewardship is a commitment to be responsible to something or someone you love. Ownership is owning your own car, for example.

Steve Smith: Stewardship is managing someone else’s assets. The owner is the one with the assets.

Kathleen Whitson: In the realm of money, stewardship defines the overseeing of an amount of money or a budget to keep it safe and to utilize in the best way. In Higher Education, faculty are often referred to as stewards of knowledge. They hold it securely and distribute it among the students for the best use and so that the students might prosper in knowledge. Stated simply but profound in use.