Little did I know
then of the major gender crisis that had gone on in her life. Through junior
high and into high school, LaVern wished she had been born a boy. She did boy
stuff and had no interest in more typically feminine activities. And she grew into
a very large woman.
In her own words:
I Wished I Had Been
Born a Boy
“Probably until I
was well into junior high and maybe even high school I was fairly convinced God
had simply mixed me up with John Mark, the name my parents had selected if I
had been born male.
“You see, I am over six feet tall and very
large framed. I wear a size thirteen shoe. My hands are as large as any man my
height. I was always told I had a pretty face but because of my height I was
able to carry a lot of extra weight without looking fat and the fullness on my
frame tended to make me look less pretty and just attractive. Still I never
felt pretty or much less feminine.
“So for many years I
wondered. Did God make a mistake?
“Life was very
difficult at times and the scars of adolescent taunts, a very low self-esteem
and deep, deep loneliness took its toll for many years but that was the journey
God had for me.
“I am so thankful I
was not approached by anyone that might have worked to convince me I was not
what God made me to be and I wonder often, what if?
“I suppose it was
probably easier to be a ‘tomboy’ rather than a ‘girlie’ or ‘sissy’ guy but
maybe not. Just like the guys opposite me, I was having trouble finding comfort
in what God made me to be.
“It’s a journey I am
thankful was accompanied by parents, peers and mentors that taught me God does
not make mistakes.”
Lavern is now in her
50s. Married over 26 years, she is a mother of four.
----
Think about it. If
LaVern were growing up today, secularists would likely urge her to explore her
gender identity and to consider a change. With her doubts about being female,
her desire to be male, and her low self-image, she might have been drawn to
become trans-gendered.
Instead she believed
what Moses wrote in Gen 1:26-27 and Jesus affirmed in Matt 19:1-9. It is God
the Creator who makes a person male or female. He does not make mistakes.
So LaVern chose to
make the most out of being what God made her to be: a woman! As a result, now
in her 50s, she has been married well over twenty-five years and is the mother
of four.
Did LaVern make the
U-turn? She did not!
As a result, she has
found joy in God’s creation and design.
She goes on to
write:
“I am so thankful my
path was exactly as it was.
“I am so thankful
that eventually it was a path that led me to a man, my husband, that filled the
deep loneliness with a love so complete I can’t imagine life without him.
“I am still a
tomboy. I struggle to identify with many of the women in my life.
“I had a
conversation with a co-worker just last year. I was concerned about my
inability to connect with a couple of the women I was working with. I told him
I could not understand why they seemed to not like me, why they almost seemed
uncomfortable around me. His response still makes me laugh. He said, ‘Well
LaVern, you’re basically a dude! You’re intimidating.’
“So still, as
basically a dude, I am completely and fully a girl, a woman.
“Fully and
completely comfortable with who and what God made me to be.
“I still detest
dressing like a woman. I hate dresses and frills.
“I spend as much
time as possible in my favorite muck boots and weathered tattered clothes
working outside, getting as dirty as possible.
“I love working with
my hands till they are rough and worn.
“I’m proud my hands
look like hands that work, not like a man but like a woman.
“A woman that may be
a bit rough around the edges but make no mistake, still one-hundred percent
woman.
“The woman God made
me to be.
“Perfect but flawed.
“And praying without
ceasing for those still on the journey to find peace and understanding of their
own flawed perfection and the perfect plan God has for them.”
Thank you, “U-Turn
LaVern,” for showing us that some U-turns are the wrong turns, and for
reminding us that God’s path is always right.
https://uturnlavern.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/155/
https://uturnlavern.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/155/
2 comments:
Love your article about U-Turn LaVern. She has done some work with us at World Christian Broadcasting. Absolutely refreshing, talented, dedicated woman in every way.
Great article! Shared it on my Face Book page.
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