What I Have Learned from My Father

Mary Hoffman Carl: Without my father I would’ve missed watching someone depend wholly on God. He faced his challenges with God’s help. He was passionate about God and came to know Him through reading His word. He brought people to the Lord that others simply judged behind their backs. We only found out about these conversions after he passed away.

Christopher Allen Carrillo: I’ve never met my real father, but my uncle stepped up and filled that role better than I could have imagined. Without my uncle, I would not be the man I am today. He helped to raise me when he didn’t have too, he showed me what unconditional love was by being there for me when my own biological father wouldn’t.

Debbie Ethridge: I didn’t do well in math in the 4th grade! My Daddy usually gave us a dollar if we did good! So he still gave me a quarter for trying so hard! As a child that told me I was still a worthy person! I did well the next year thanks to his positive attitude towards me!

Kristy Fair: My father was a true family man. He was completely devoted to his family and my mother. Some of my fondest memories are of our family vacations, especially the last vacation when the whole family went to Alaska. It was questionable whether my father’s health would allow him to go, but through the grace of God and endless prayers, along with the determination of my father, he was able to go and provide us with another vacation full of cherishable memories. My dad was so nice to everyone, and I watched him and learned by example. He was even on a first-name basis with the workers at McDonald’s that we frequented often.

Teresa Farrow: My mom marched down one Sunday and made me come and sit with her. A big lesson learned! Lol I never talked again either. I knew my dad was there and watching as well and I would be in more trouble. Just in a way that made you want to please them. The memory though... I wanted to disappear.

My dad taught me how to be generous. Giving first. I remember when I was younger and living on the coast. (Corpus Christi) We had lots of transients and they would be in the grocery store parking lot asking for money. Dad would bring them back into the store and buy their groceries. On several occasions, he would even take them back to their homes and give them a little pocket money. He’s continued this living up here. Whenever, I had patients that I was caring for and they needed rides or help, he was always there. Taught me that we all have more to give than we think.

David Hurt: We didn’t have much money growing up, but my dad taught me that there is always someone who has less and needs our help. I have been doubly blessed, my father-in-law has been a father figure to me as well. He had to put his own dreams on hold and drop out of college to take care of his family, waiting decades to finish his college degree. He taught me what it really means to sacrifice for his family.

Erica Rogers Rasmussen: You asked us to tell you about our dads so here is a little about mine. When I think of the word unconditional LOVE I think of my dad. Growing up he was my best friend and biggest support. He was then and now my spiritual guide. He never judged the mistakes I made in life and was always there for my every need. He is now a Grandfather to six kids to adore him. My only son was named after him. Family means the world to him he still talks fondly of his own mother, farther and 6 brothers. Just the thought of my dad makes me forever grateful for him and incredibly proud of him. Love my dad!

Malcolm Rogers: My dad is my hero. For over 25 years he cut cedar fence post most of the time with only an ax. When he first started his business, he slept out in the open on a mattress covered by a tarp to keep out the moisture. Many days he would wake up almost covered by snow. He cooked his food over an open camp fire. At night his hands and arms would throb because of the swinging of an ax. Not one time in my life did I ever hear my dad complain. He always remarked that a man who did not take care of his family was worse than an infidel. I loved my dad. He was my example. He showed me every day what honesty and character were. I never went hungry or without shelter. My dad my hero. I love you Papa.

Kent Berman: Dad taught me God is first. The goal of my life is be like Christ so I can be with Christ in Heaven. He preached for a lot of my childhood and these were messages he emphasized that are still with me. A few years ago, I had the opportunity to preach from his sermon outline on Philippians 3:14 on Father’s day.

Lea Black: My Dad is 94 and continues to teach and inspire me, I thought all men knew how to fix everything when I married!!! How surprised I was when my husband did not! He learned fast at Dad’s tutoring! Dad was always there for me, and taught me in unorthodox ways: I was sitting in church chatting away in a tent meeting on the back; I saw him coming and I knew I was a dead duck, but he marched me to the front row and we sat down, I was mortified!!! Never talked again!!! I could write a book on many such examples!! My parents also sacrificed for me to go to MHBS. He continues to invite people to church and try to set up bible studies. He is the BEST father!!

Randall Boyd: my father taught me patience and contentment, and to help others when called upon.

Misty Campbell: My daddy shows me love. My dad has had many health struggles in the past several years. His loving words, as recent as yesterday in the ER, keep echoing through my mind. We were at the hospital where my husband works. Person after person would come in and my daddy would ask almost every one “Do you know Misty?” Finally, I said “Daddy, I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me. I don’t know everyone.” He replied “I know but I’m proud of you and I want everyone to know you!” I’m 42, he is 75. He will never know how that touched my heart! 

If my earthly father loves me as much as he does, how much more does my Heavenly Father love me?

Joy Marsh Chastain: My dad always acts so happy to hear from me. He is just a genuinely kind person who loves to love - first God and then others. He is 80 and has a hard time physically yet always ends every conversation with “please let me know if I can do anything for you and your family”. Again, his genuine love and concern for me means the world and has taught me to hopefully love others in the same way.

Allison Clark: When I was very little, I was scared of storms. When they woke me up at night, I was afraid but I knew Dad would come check on me because he always did. Sure enough, after a few minutes, he would open my door, gently check if I was awake, tenderly wrap me in a bear hug and carry me to his and Mom’s room to wait out the rest of the storm together, softly telling me that everything was okay. He would explain what storms are and why we don’t have to be afraid of them... what we would do to keep ourselves safe if need be. We would watch the lightning and he would point out to me how pretty it was. I would fall asleep feeling so secure and loved and protected. To this day, he and I love learning about meteorology and watching storms together.

Bud Crowell: My Dad taught me to try and put myself in someone else’s shoes. He always used to say that no matter how bad or how rotten you thought things were for you, put yourself in someone else’s shoes as things could be much worse for you, so be thankful for what you do have. The old Joe South song, “Walk a Mile in My Shoes” was one of our favorite songs years ago. Also, I have so many pleasant memories being able to travel with him to so many gymnasiums as he refereed and being able to see legends like Pete Maravich, Shaquille Oneal, Clyde Lee, Dominique Wilkins, Charles Barkley, Adolph Rupp and so many more play and coach basketball as a youngster.

Suzie Curfman: I had just bought my first auto with my own money, a 1955 Fairlane Ford, blue and white (on my Facebook cover) and I had a wreck and messed it up. I called Dad crying. He said “are you hurt”. No “anybody hurt” No. Don’t cry. It’s just a car, he said. Through the years when I lost, broke and destroyed something I really cared about and all effort had failed to restore it he would say, “They are just things. Things don’t matter, people matter but things don’t matter.” As I grow older I lose, drop and break so many things, things I really love. They have been with me a long time but I find myself saying, “They are just things.” Things are temporal but people are eternal. I want to try to heal the broken and hurting people and point the lost to Jesus Christ who can save them because PEOPLE MATTER but things don’t matter. 

JJ Long Davenport: My father let us see him study. I remember so many times walking into the kitchen or his office and seeing him in the Word. He taught me how to have a spiritual life and how to surround myself with people that will help me get to Heaven. I also saw him have compassion to those that needed compassion. I saw him handle tough situations with grace and patience and humility. I saw (and still see) that every person he came in contact with would leave happier because of him. He is a light.

Lori Tays Eastep: My favorite dad story happened when I was 16. My parents never had much money and they sacrificed many things to pay for my Mars Hill education. After I went for almost a year with no car, they saved enough to purchase me one. And so, being 16, I naturally wrecked it. I was devastated. I remember that Joey Krieger took me to call my parents, and I begged him not to make me call. I kept telling him that they were going to kill me. Actually kill me. lol When my dad arrived, he hugged me. Then he looked in the eyes and dried my face and said, “I can get another car. I can never get another you.” I will never forget those words. He took me for ice cream and never mentioned the car, or the money it cost, or the higher insurance premiums ever again. That night I learned the meaning of grace. He’s a hero to a lot of middle school kids, but he’ll never be a bigger hero to anyone than he is to me.

Jerry Frazier: My dad volunteered on his 18th birthday in 1944 to stop fascism. Without men like him, none of us would be free. He was truly part of the Greatest Generation.

Cindy Black Griffith: The best word to describe my father is subtle. He daily shows me how to treat others by his actions. He has subtly shown me how a man should treat his wife. And how a father should respect his daughter. He has shown us how to be a strong wise leader of our family, subtly. He is a man of honor and strength subtly. He does not boast. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Bob Black

Lisa Grossheim: Once my Dad had surgery where it would work or he would die on the table. When they rolled him into the operating room, he looked at us and said, “I’ll see you when I get of surgery or I’ll see you in a little while”. The surgery worked and I was able to keep him a few more years but his confidence and NO FEAR attitude toward death has left me a legacy I hope to give to my children as well.

Suzanne Denney Howell: My dad, Hugh Denney, modeled for me what it would look like to get up everyday and go to a job I love. He was a veterinarian and was extremely passionate about his work but more importantly, showed compassion to each animal and owner he came into contact with. I teach school and I love my job. I learned from my father how to be kind and compassionate to my students. It’s been 13 years since we lost him to cancer but stories and comments about his gentle, kind ways are still brought up to me. I couldn’t be prouder to be his daughter.

LouAnn Kincaid: Even though my dad provided me with everything I needed, he passed on to me a good work ethic, and he raised me in church. (Not The Church, but Baptist church)

Sherri LaFever: Thank you, dad, for: teaching me how to pray; giving me a hug whenever I needed one; for all the years spent providing for our family..but always keeping us 2nd in your life (just after God)..we were blessed with your constant presence in our lives, no matter what we were involved in (school plays, ball games, etc..); for setting a Christian example for us to live by; for smiling often; for teaching me to root for the underdog; for praying for me; for taking us out for ice cream; for teaching us not to expect to get our way in life: by playing games, we only won when we’d earned it, not because you “let us win “ (still learning this today Lol); for teaching me to be generous and caring to those in need; for being a wonderful grandfather (Pepaw); for singing the magical song “long black veil “, (it still puts fussy children to sleep); for telling me it’s OK to cry; for not being mad when I wrecked the car; for letting us have pets; for loving mom with all your heart; for being my hero; for being my friend...I hope you know I love you, though I’m not always there. I think about you constantly, and you’re always in my prayers. (This is what I wrote on his wall 2 years ago, it hasn’t changed)

Scott Lewis: My father left before I was born. I’ve never met him. He taught me that conceiving a child doesn’t make you a dad. I also learned that his actions aren’t a reason or excuse for mine, and that I’ll never do that to my wife and children.

Rebeca Garcia Luna: My father has been a gift for me.....he taught me values.....and, of course, he taught me to let God guides my life in order to teach others about him. He is 78 years but I am still learning from him...I am blessed .

Judy Galloway Meek: My dad taught me the act of being a gentleman and as a lady to expect to be treated as such. I remember as a small child (probably around 5 years old) walking downtown with my dad. I remember him opening the doors for me and explaining to me as we walked down the sidewalk that a man should always walk on the outside of the sidewalk against the road to protect the lady. We made a game out of that fact everywhere we went that day. When we’d come out of the store, I would walk close to buildings and he would take his position against the road. I felt so protected. He was very important to teach manners.

Linda Dreaden Morris: My Dad taught me to respect everyone. I never witnessed him looking down on another human being.

Martha Brown Murphree: Where to begin? One of the most influential things Dad (John Murphree) ever said to me personally follows. We had been living in Belgium doing mission work for 4 years. My parents were sending me to my freshman year at David Lipscomb College. The year was 1971. I would not see my parents until the following summer when they returned to the states because we couldn’t afford for me to go home for Christmas. Dad told me: “Remember that whatever happens in your life, whatever decisions you make, we will always love you and you can always come home....but please remember that you are one of the few people in the world who has the power to break our hearts.” 

Those words saved me from making potentially dangerous decisions many times in my college and early adult years. 

He passed away in January 2015. In talking about his funeral he requested specifically two songs: “I am Happy Today” ...because he said he knew he would be....and “Love One Another” (Love one another for Love is of God...for God is love, God is love) I remember him saying on several occasions, after we had sung this song at church, on the drive home, that if we could just get this “love one another thing” straight, we would be all right.

I cherish the memory of the 6 years I cared for him after my mom passed away and I miss him every day.

He was gentle, loving, and unfailingly kind to everyone in my experience. My sisters and I agree that we cannot recall a single time in our lives when either he or our mother raised their voices at us or anyone else. They were far from perfect but, in our eyes, they were remarkable people. They were crazy in love with each other and they were crazy in love with God. They followed Him to Mississippi, Kentucky, Tennessee, Belgium, Papua New Guinea, and home again, with several shorter missions in between... They never had much money but they were rich in all the things that mattered.

Precious memories... I am on a roll...after this , I will stop :-) He taught us to fish, to ride a bike, to drive a car, to write a check, to stay out of debt, to paint a wall, to mow the grass, to love animals. He took us on adventures in other cultures. We learned French together in Belgium. He took us by canoe to the remote village of Mariki in Papua New Guinea .... and so much more...but mostly he taught us to be kind and compassionate, to love people... people of all nations: black or white, rich or poor, Christian or non-Christian...and in so doing, he gave us a glimpse of how God loves and taught us to love God.

Sorry, Cory to continue but I am on vacation and have been walking down memory lane ever since you posted this question. 

The year was 1959. I was 6 years old. Dad was preaching in a Nashville church that will remain unnamed. Some black families were beginning to move into the church neighborhood and several started attending our church. They would slip in, sit on the back pew and slip out. Dad was a bit naive. He was not trying to rock the boat. During one Sunday morning sermon he said we wanted our black brothers & sisters to leave the back pew and be welcomed into full fellowship & membership in our congregation. 

We were the last to leave church as always, as mom & dad greeted everyone leaving. When he got into the car he turned to mother and said “I think I just got fired.” ....and he had. He never preached there again. He probably could have split that congregation, but the thought of causing division never passed through his mind. Several months later we moved to Chattanooga .... And eventually on to foreign missions.

In the summer of 1966, if I am not mistaken, Dad went to a sort of preachers meeting in Montreal, Canada. In one session, a group of preachers were sitting in a large circle discussing mission needs that could be taken back to their congregations. I think it was S. F. Timmermon who brought up the need of a missionary in Brussels, Belgium. He asked if there was any preacher present who would consider going, he would have to be willing to learn French . They went around the circle and each man explained why he could not go. When it was Dad’s turn, he couldn’t think of a reason not to go (though he had daughters in 3rd, 8th, 11th grades in school) ....so a year later at age 40, my parents embarked on their first full time mission. As the children, we learned that we were not the center of our parents lives, God’s calling came first.

In the 1980s, in their 50s, mom and dad struck out again, leaving the security and familiarity of middle Tennessee, when a need arose. They left with two large suitcases and moved to Papua New Guinea, this time to a 3rd world country. They only requested to be able to come home every Christmas since grandchildren were coming into the picture. And in the days before Internet, Skype, cheap phone calls , all communication was through snail mail ...which took 10 days+ most of the time. This was probably the work they loved the most because they often got to tell the story to people who had never heard it at all before. When a young missionary asked dad for advice, he told him that the most important thing was to love the people. 

Love, kindness, humility, gentleness, compassion: these are the first words that come to my mind when I think of my father.

He was never a “big name” preacher, he never preached for a church larger than 200-300 people. He was a faithful foot soldier, not a general, in the Lord’s army.

Becky Kennedy Nix: My dad (Pop) spent many Friday nights watching the Coffee Yellow Jackets play football. He was there because he had brought a car full of young teenage girls to the game and took everyone home afterwards. I learned a lot about football watching bowl games with him on New Year’s Day. The really important things I learned from Pop were keep your word, work hard, and never be late for anything!

Mary Joyce Nicks: My dad was a wonderful Christian man, who loved to laugh and make others laugh as well. He taught me the importance of working an honest day’s work no matter what the job was and be the type of person others could always count on. He had two sayings, which he said many times as I was growing up, and I still try to remember his advice and try to apply it to my life each day. He always said that “anything worth having is worth taking care of” and “take good care of your things in life and they will take good care of you”. His hearty laugh and his good advice will be always be some of my special memories of a special father.

Deborah Kerr Sconyers: My Daddy taught me kindness, the importance of second chances and the acceptance of all people regardless of their race or beliefs. When he died, so many people came and told me how he had helped them save their homes or businesses and his only wish was not to tell others about his actions and only repay if they were able. So many people he helped and I never knew. So I learned I can go kindly through this world and quietly help those who need my help. He was the greatest man I have ever known and I hope to be half the person he was.

Geoffrey Sikes: My father was a preacher. I heard him preach sermons every week. I saw him live sermons all the time.

Frank Walton: My dad taught me through his generous actions, to be a giving and sharing person to others. I have learned that that was a Walton characteristic through the generations preceding, too.