Just Odd

This post is written by my fine friend and former coworker, Dr. Bill Bagents. Bill serves as the Vice President of Academics at Heritage Christian University in Florence, Alabama, and as a minister and elder with the Mars Hill church of Christ there. He writes thoughtfully, with humor and humility. – Cory

Why is it “fiery” and not firey? After all, the root word is fire.

Why do we love redundancy so much? “Déjà vu all over again.” “Revert back.” “Read the following text below. “Past history.” And don’t get me started on “future plans.” Planning the past seldom works.

Why do we love phrases that are just plain dumb? Football announcers frequently say “young freshman” as if that were outside the norm. The only time it’s worth mentioning is when the freshman isn’t young. Same deal when they speak of some professional sports star as a “gifted athlete.” Non-gifted athletes don’t get to be professional sports stars.

Why do some speakers spend precious seconds telling us how little time they have been allotted to speak and how much more they could share if they had more time? Just get on with it.

Any logo or tagline that needs an explanation didn’t work. Same with any joke or illustration.

Did you hear about the family who bought a dog at Pet Smart, but it wasn’t?

Why is it always way too late when they finally say to us, “To make a long story short”?

Maybe you saw the article about the anti-abortion congressman who resigned after getting caught demanding that his mistress have an abortion. You can’t make this stuff up; and if you did, no one would believe you.

When people say to me, “You’re looking good,” I feel that I’ve encountered a multiple-choice test. Is it …

a. Exceedingly gracious, so that “Thank you” is the proper response?

b. Hyperbole mixed with satire?

c. A sign of cognitive decline?

d. Severely failing eyesight?

e. An excellent example of ellipsis? What they really mean is either “You’re looking good for a person of your advanced years,” or “You’re looking good in that I thought you died a few years ago.”

I like living on a dead-end street; I either start or end every day by repenting.

I like living adjacent to a cemetery; very quiet neighbors, at least so far.

The older I get, the more I’m okay with people asking me for advice and then rejecting it. I don’t take it personally, and it leaves me feeling no responsibility for the outcome of their decision.

All this and more is filed under Romans 12:3: “For I say…to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think…” James 1:19 and 3:2 also fit. None of us is immune.

--Bill