Sunday, January 28, 2018

Defining Responsibility - Where's the Line?



These are sermon notes, not written in a polished or finished manuscript form. To see the video of this and other sermons: 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu4zUK_ahzdiU15PL6dcAXA/videos
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Reading – Ex 32:1-6, 21-24
As Christians we must faithfully identify, accept, and fulfill our God-given roles and tasks, for which we alone will answer to God. Yet there is a point at which our responsibility ends and that of others begins. Where is that line? How can we handle what is on our own plate without blaming ourselves for others’ decisions and actions, over which we have no control?
Government Shutdown of 2018
Quick question: Who was to blame for the government shutdown? So far all are 100% agreed that it was “someone else’s fault!” Who gets the credit for ending the shutdown? So far all are agreed that they themselves deserve the praise for fixing others’ mess! So … who can prevent the next shutdown February 8? Again, 100% agreement. “I can prevent it, if you’ll just wise up, do everything exactly as I say, and give me the praise!”
Basic idea: there is a line. On this side is your responsibility. On the other side is the other person’s responsibility.
Like the fence that separates your yard from your neighbor’s. You know what’s on your side. You own it. You choose what to put there (as long as your HOA permits it, of course!). You pay the taxes on it.
From Genesis to Revelation
Ge 3:1-19 Adam, Eve, the serpent, and God.
Ge 4:1-16 Cain, Abel, and God.
Ex 32:1-35 Israelites, Aaron, Moses, and God.
2 Sa 11-12 King David, Bathsheba, and Uriah.
Mt 7 The two roads; the two foundations.
Mt 13 The sower, the seed, and the 4 responses.
Mt 25 Ten virgins, talents, sheep and goats.
A rich ruler. A blind beggar. Judas, Pilate, Peter.
Ac 13:44-48 All who heard the gospel.
Re 21:7-8 Overcomers and lost sinners.

Adam, Eve, and the Serpent
Ge 3:12 The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Cain and Abel
Ge 4:6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” 8 Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. 9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Aaron, the Israelites, and the Golden Calf
Ex 32:1 Now when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mountain, the people assembled about Aaron and said to him, “Come, make us a god who will go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” 2 Aaron said to them, “Tear off the gold rings which are in the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me.” 3 Then all the people tore off the gold rings which were in their ears and brought them to Aaron. 4 He took this from their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool and made it into a molten calf; and they said, “This is your god, O Israel, who brought you up from the land of Egypt.” 5 Now when Aaron saw this, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made a proclamation and said, “Tomorrow shall be a feast to the Lord.” 6 So the next day they rose early and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.
Ex 32:21 Then Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you, that you have brought such great sin upon them?” 22 Aaron said, “Do not let the anger of my lord burn; you know the people yourself, that they are prone to evil. 23 “For they said to me, ‘Make a god for us who will go before us; for this Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ 24 “I said to them, ‘Whoever has any gold, let them tear it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”
Moses delayed. People approached Aaron.
Aaron called for gold. He took it, fashioned it, made the calf.
Aaron rationalized. “Do not be angry. You know how people are, prone to evil.” He implied, “They pressured me into this.” He admitted, “I said …”
“Out came this calf!”
Other Scriptures on responsibility:
MATTHEW 25 PARABLES
Ten Maidens: responsible to...
Servants with Talents: responsible to...
Sheep and Goats: responsible to...
LUKE 12:42-48 To whom much is given, from him much will be required.
1 COR 4:2 It is required of stewards ... faithful.
HEB 4:13 No creature hidden; all things open, laid bare
MATT 11:20-24 More opportunity means more responsibility
MATT 12:36-37 Render account for every careless word
2 COR 5:10 All appear before the judgment seat of Christ ...
1 PET 4:5 They shall give account to Him.
GAL 6:3-5, 7-10 Carry own load; reap what you sow. No one can bear your responsibilities but you.
REV 20:11-15 Judgment from the books of deeds.
ROM 3:19 Whole world accountable, mouth closed.
Ro 14:10 But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, And every tongue shall give praise to God.” 12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.
SAUL The people insisted (1 SAM 15:20-21).
DAVID sent Uriah home to sleep with Bathsheba
2 Sam 12:1-10              Nathan to David: “You are the man!”
JONAH fled from his call to go to Nineveh
JUDAS threw down the 30 silver coins.
PILATE washed his hands publicly.
Responsibility is knowledge + ability + opportunity. If you know it’s right, you are able to do it, and you have the chance to do it, then you are responsible to do it.
Jas 4:17 Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.
Matt 11:20-24               Cities in Jesus’ day to receive greater judgment.
Matt 28:11-15               Jewish elders to guards: “We will keep you out of trouble.”
Jn 19:11 Jesus answered, “You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above; for this reason he who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.”
Responsibility needs to be taught and enforced from the earliest age.
Little boy. “My parents and teachers tell me I’m a very responsible young man. Every time something goes wrong, they say, ‘Billy, you’re responsible!’”
Smokey the Bear – “Only YOU can prevent forest fires!”
Age of accountability.
Emotional Fitness – A Counselor’s Perspective, by Dr. Betty Hamblen
Choices – Each individual is responsible for the choices he makes. If this concept was not taught to you as a child, then please save yourself much heartache and learn it now before you age another minute. Let’s repeat: Each individual is responsible for the choices he makes. He can choose where he goes (to church or to follow a friend to a questionable place) and how he spends time (more work or time with his family). He also can choose to stay estranged from a family member or to reconcile, to overspend or to budget, to make inappropriate flirtatious overtures or to conduct himself with respect and purity.
The troubling issue in choice-making comes when an individual expects someone else to take responsibility for that individual’s choices.
When my grandchildren were younger, one of the first things they did in visiting our house was to pull off their shoes and socks and run around the house barefoot. Being shoeless did not usually cause a problem unless we had to go out of the house to run an errand. We were then delayed while socks and shoes were located and put on.
On one of their visits we were in a hurry to get to the library before it closed. My grandson who was then about five or six years old could not find his socks and shoes.  He asked, “Nana, where are my shoes?” I replied, “I don’t know. Where did you take them off?”
If he hadn’t been so serious, I probably would have laughed at his next responses. He said, “They were by the door, but where did you put them?” I replied, “I didn’t put your shoes anywhere. They are probably in the place where you took them off.”
“No, Nana,” he said, “I took them off by the door, but you must have moved them because they aren’t there. Now tell me where they are.”
Hiding a smile, I reflected on the lesson in personal responsibility that his mother had been working to teach him. She usually asked him three questions, “Who do the shoes belong to?” “Who wore them here today?” “Who took them off?” After each question, he confessed that he was the one who owned the shoes, who wore the shoes, and who took off the shoes. Then the usual fourth question came. “Then whose responsibility do you think it is to keep up with the shoes?”
He was and is a smart boy, so he could see the logical conclusion. If he owned the shoes, wore them, and took them off, then the responsibility for finding them was his. On that day at my house, when I hesitated to answer, and was about to ask the first question, he said, “I know, I know. They’re my re-spon-si-bi-li-ty. I’ll find them.”
Daniel was young and still learning about responsibility, but many adults act in the same manner. They expect others to take care of their personal circumstances, choices, and emotions. They want someone else to relieve them of their own responsibilities. Many do not come to the same conclusion that Daniel did, “They’re my responsibility.”
People frequently expect someone else to take responsibility for choices that they themselves actually made. Let’s illustrate.
Suppose a high school student chooses not to study for a test because he would rather play computer games than read the textbook chapters and put in the work to learn the material. When he receives a poor grade on the test, he may say the test was too hard or the teacher had never liked him. He is asking the teacher to take responsibility for his own choice not to study.
Suppose a woman chooses to have an affair with someone she “friends” on a social media site. When her marriage breaks up, she then may tell others that her husband “never understood” her and that her friends “would understand if they really knew him (husband).” She is asking her husband to take responsibility for her poor choice.
Suppose a college student sleeps late because she stayed up until 2:00 a.m. watching a movie and misses a test in her 8:00 a.m. class the next morning. When her roommate comes in from the same class, the student gets angry and tells “roomie” she should have made sure the student was awake before she left. The student is asking her roommate to take responsibility for the student’s own choice.
Suppose a husband chooses to use physical violence to express his emotions instead of choosing to learn to communicate in appropriate verbal terms. He then blames his wife for saying something that provoked him to hit her. He is asking his wife to take responsibility for his own choice.
These individuals are responsible for their own choices. But they expect another (the one who is blamed) to step over the fence that defines the chooser’s own responsibilities. They want that person to pick up the responsibility that rightfully belongs to the chooser.
The game-playing teen expects the teacher to step over the fence and take away his responsibility to study. The adulterous wife wants her husband to cross over the fence and pick up the burden of responsibility. The tardy college student tries to badger her roommate to put on her shoulders what rightfully belongs to the late sleeper. The violent husband refuses to admit that his choice belongs within his own fence. The responsibility of his choice and its natural consequences does not belong to his wife.
Fences are in place because they are an appropriate way to define what belongs to you and what belongs to another. Fences around property designate where the responsibility for maintaining your own home ends and your neighbor’s responsibility begins. The same concept helps us see more clearly the emotional responsibilities that belong to us and those that belong to someone else.
No More Back-Seat Car Fights: Triplets’ Father “Builds the Wall!”
The Line that Separates “Mine” from “Not Mine” – Responsibility
The Watchman: Ezekiel 33:1-9
Sees the danger, blows the trumpet to warn all.
If not, their death is his responsibility.
However, his responsibility has a limit.
Eze 33:1 And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 2 “Son of man, speak to the sons of your people and say to them, ‘If I bring a sword upon a land, and the people of the land take one man from among them and make him their watchman, 3 and he sees the sword coming upon the land and blows on the trumpet and warns the people, 4 then he who hears the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning, and a sword comes and takes him away, his blood will be on his own head. 5 ‘He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning; his blood will be on himself. But had he taken warning, he would have delivered his life. 6 ‘But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet and the people are not warned, and a sword comes and takes a person from them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood I will require from the watchman’s hand.’ 7 “Now as for you, son of man, I have appointed you a watchman for the house of Israel; so you will hear a message from My mouth and give them warning from Me. 8 “When I say to the wicked, ‘O wicked man, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require from your hand. 9 “But if you on your part warn a wicked man to turn from his way and he does not turn from his way, he will die in his iniquity, but you have delivered your life.
The Citizens: Ezekiel 33:1-9
Hear the trumpet blast, flee the city and escape.
If not, their death is only their responsibility.
In that case, the watchman is not at fault.
You Answer for Your Stuff.
Others Answer for Theirs.
Choices (sowing) and consequences (reaping).
Attitudes and emotions. Actions and reactions.
Faith and motivation. Submission and obedience.
Worship and involvement. Bible study and prayer.
Schedule and assignments. Habits and routines.
Treatment of others, whether friends or not.
Self-control, moral purity, and sobriety.
Promise-keeping and follow-through.
If you made the choice, you are responsible for it.
You Must Not …
Cross the line of responsibility.
Blame others for your own choices and actions.
Blame yourself for others’ choices and actions.
Allow others to blame you for their behavior.
Bail out others and enable them to do wrong.

Consider who is on one side of the responsibility line, and who is on the other. Here are some examples.

SIDE ONE            SIDE TWO

Watchmen           Citizens

Parents                Children

Shepherds           Sheep

Teachers              Students

Preachers            Hearers

Leaders                Followers

Employers           Employees

The Savior           The Sinner


You and Your Fences
You set appropriate fences.
You monitor and maintain those fences.
You let others know what and where they are.
You know when they are violated.
You restore them when they are crossed.
You take care of all that is inside them.
You do not blame others for your fences.
You respect others’ fences and do not cross them.
Individual responsibility – my fences are my responsibility: setting appropriate ones, maintaining them, knowing when they are violated, restoring them when they are crossed, and taking care of whatever is within the fences.
You and Your Emotions
Events do not determine your emotions. You do.
Whatever happens, you choose your response.
Will you pout and give the silent treatment?
Will you envy and resent your coworker?
Will you become bitter and fault the church, its members, or its leaders?
Will you be the skunk that sprays others?
Will you be the turtle that pulls into its shell?
You and Your Children
Eze 18:19 “Yet you say, ‘Why should the son not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity?’ When the son has practiced justice and righteousness and has observed all My statutes and done them, he shall surely live. 20 “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.
To My Child Things I Can and Cannot Do
I can share your life, but I cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions, but I cannot always lead you.
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot decide for you.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can tell you the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you to obey, but I cannot answer for your actions.
I can warn you about sin, but I cannot make your morals.
I can love you as my child, but I cannot place you in God’s family.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Him your Savior.
I can teach you about prayer, but I cannot make you pray.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.

Author Unknown

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