In Jesus’ day,
divorcing one’s wife was simply a matter of handing her a piece of paper and
sending her away. Breaking one’s promise was quite acceptable, as long as
“non-binding” words were used when the promise was made. Scripture was misused
to justify both of these practices! Jesus called His disciples to radical
faithfulness. It’s a key to the kingdom.
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Reading: Matt 5:31-37
From Sonja R. Ely Dallas, Oregon: I was watching my five-year-old
granddaughter Christy play with her dolls. At one point, she “staged” a
wedding, first playing the role of the bride’s mother who assigned specific
duties, then suddenly becoming the bride with her “teddy bear” groom. She
picked him up and said to the “minister” presiding over the wedding, “Now you
can read us our rights.” Without missing a beat, Christy became the minister
who said, “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held
against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the
bride.”
This subject –
marriage, divorce, and remarriage – is a hard and sensitive one in several
ways. So many people have had so much pain as a result of God’s original plan
not being followed. Our culture – even the broader religious culture – has weakened
regarding the purpose, sanctity, and permanence of marriage. One of the mantras
we hear, not always using these exact words, is, “God wants me to be happy more
than He wants me to be faithful.”
There are many
couples in this church who have weathered the storms that confronted them. They
have remained faithful to God and each other, as they promised Him they would, “until
death do us part.” “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for
richer or for poorer.”
And, even beyond
marriage, we are seeing a breakdown in promise-keeping in all areas of life. We
see it in the business world, in politics, in personal relationships, and even
in the church.
Such was life also
in the time of Jesus.
In Jesus’ day,
divorcing one’s wife was simply a matter of handing her a piece of paper and
sending her away. Breaking one’s promise was quite acceptable, as long as
“non-binding” words were used when the promise was made. Scripture was misused
to justify both of these practices! Jesus called His disciples to radical
faithfulness. It’s a key to the kingdom.
Photo above - Old Faithful Geyser
Yellowstone National
Park
Erupts 1-1/2 to 5
minutes, every 35 to 120 minutes.
Max height 90 to 184
feet. Biggest regular geyser there.
Country songs say it
all!
WHEN I SAID I DO
FOREVER AND EVER
AMEN
I COME FROM A LONG
LINE OF LOVE
Broken Hearts and
Homes
In the US – one
divorce occurs every 13 seconds.
Average age of
couples at first divorce: 30.
(Among those who
actually do marry.)
Prior cohabitation raises
risk of divorce 40%.
50% of kids in the
US will see parents divorce.
Almost 1/2 of those
will see a 2nd divorce.
43% are being raised
without their fathers.
Broken Hearts and
Homes
Rate for under 50
about 2X that of those 50+.
Divorces for 50+
almost doubled past 25 years.
Today - 15% of women
divorced or separated.
In 1920 - less than
1% of women divorced or separated.
Lowest divorce
profession: agricultural engineers.
Followed by
optometrists. Then ministers.
Broken Hearts and
Homes
Risk is lower when:
Parents were happily
married.
Marriage occurred at
age 25+.
Couple attended
college.
Couple has strong
religious foundation.
Faithfulness in Marriage – Matt 5:31-32
Let’s start here
first: Matt 5:1-30.
Up the mountain
before down the aisle.
Note how Jesus’
message begins and then progresses.
From attitude – to
influence – to self-control – to faithfulness.
No surprise that
Jesus would address marriage and other vows.
Anyone who pursues
the traits Jesus listed in the Beatitudes ( a peacemaker for example) …
Anyone who seeks to
have the influence Jesus described, who wants to salt the earth and light the
darkness for Him …
Anyone who repents
of sinful anger and improper, lustful desires (who will make every effort to
settle out of court and reconcile if in the wrong) …
Anyone who is
willing to cut off a hand or lose an eye rather than surrender to sin is
certainly ready to hear Jesus’ next radical teaching.
So the Sermon on the
Mount could actually be used as a pre-marital or even marital counseling
manual!
How crucial it is,
then, that every couple considering marriage go up the mountain, listen to
Jesus, and plan ahead what they will do when they begin their lives together!
How unwise it would be to enter into marriage WITHOUT considering attitude,
influence, and self-control! These are the very things that destroy marriages!
Take them
up the mountain before you walk them down the aisle!
In Jesus’ day it was
easy to get out of a marriage. It was easy to get out of a promise. The two were
and are related. One who will break marriage vows will often break other vows
as well. Faithfulness in one area of life – or the lack of it – will often be
seen in other areas of life as well.
Up the mountain
before down the tubes.
“It was said …” Deut
24:1-4 (mis)used to allow easy, no-reason divorce. “Just give her a legal paper.”
Jesus called His
disciples to radical faithfulness.
Divorce
Mt 5:31 “It was said, ‘WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM
GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE’; 32
but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman
commits adultery.
Also note:
1 Co 7:10 But to the married
I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her
husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be
reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
32 Shocking Divorce Statistics
“It was said,” not,
“It is written.” Yet Jesus then quotes Scripture!
What’s the
difference between what the Scripture said and what they said?
Matt 19:3-9 Read and review the passage.
Jesus’ fuller
explanation:
Mt 19:3 Some Pharisees came
to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife
for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read
that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5
and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “So they are
no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no
man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give
her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He said to them,
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives;
but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 “And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman,
commits adultery.”
From the beginning.
One male and one female. Leave and cleave. One flesh.
“What therefore God
has joined together, let no man separate.”
“Because of your
hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives … but from the
beginning it has not been this way.”
God through Moses in
Deut 24 did not command, endorse, or encourage divorce! The only actual command
was that one who did divorce his wife would not be able to take her back again.
Perhaps even this fact affirmed the sanctity of the original marriage and the
serious hesitation one should have before dissolving it. “Think long and hard.
You cannot just undo this decision.” The certificate would have simply made it
public, not holy.
Dt 24:1 “When a man takes a
wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes
because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of
divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, 2 and
she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and if
the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce
and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband
dies who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband who sent her
away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been
defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring
sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.
So what was meant by
“some indecency?”
Stott: Rabbi Shammai took a rigorist line, and
taught from Deuteronomy 24:1 that the sole ground for divorce was some grave
matrimonial offence, something evidently ‘unseemly’ or ‘indecent’. Rabbi
Hillel, on the other hand, held a very lax view. If we can trust the Jewish
historian Josephus, this was the common attitude, for he applied the Mosaic
provision to a man who ‘desires to be divorced from his wife for any cause
whatsoever’. Similarly Hillel, arguing that the ground for divorce was
something ‘unseemly’, interpreted this term in the widest possible way to
include a wife’s most trivial offences. If she proved to be an incompetent cook
and burnt her husband’s food, or if he lost interest in her because of her
plain looks and because he became enamored of some other more beautiful woman,
these things were ‘unseemly’ and justified him in divorcing her. The Pharisees
seem to have been attracted by Rabbi Hillel’s laxity, which will explain the
form their question took: ‘Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?’2
In other words, they wanted to know whose side Jesus was on in the contemporary
debate, and whether he belonged to the school of rigorism or of laxity.
Faithfulness in Promises – Matt 5:34-37
Vows
Mt 5:33 “Again, you have heard that the ancients were told,
‘YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS, BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD.’ 34 “But I say to you, make no oath at
all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by
Jerusalem, for it is THE CITY OF THE GREAT KING. 36 “Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make
one hair white or black. 37 “But let
your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.”
From marriage vows
to all commitments.
“You have heard, it
was said.” Scrip (mis)used.
Cf. Lev 19:12; Num 30:2; Deut 23:21, 23.
Le 19:12 ‘You shall not
swear falsely by My name, so as to profane the name of your God; I am the Lord.
Nu 30:2 “If a man makes a
vow to the Lord, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he
shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of
his mouth.
Dt 23:21 “When you make a
vow to the Lord your God, you shall not delay to pay it, for it would be sin in
you, and the Lord your God will surely require it of you.
Dt 23:23 “You shall be
careful to perform what goes out from your lips, just as you have voluntarily
vowed to the Lord your God, what you have promised.
Their escape clause:
vows not specifically including the words, “to the Lord.”
Key phrase here –
don’t miss it! – vows “to the Lord.”
Why so important?
Because then, if one
vowed by something or something other than the Lord, the vow was not binding,
or at least not as binding!
So one might vow by
heaven, or earth, or Jerusalem, or even their own head! The requirement to keep
the vow depended on the words attached to the vow! If a person simply said, “I
will do that,” but did not follow those words with, “I vow by the Lord.” Then
fulfilling the vow was optional!
Matt 23:16-22 If by
heaven, earth, Jerusalem, or even their own head … then not binding!
Mt 23:16 “Woe to you, blind
guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temple, that is nothing; but whoever
swears by the gold of the temple is obligated.’ 17 “You fools and blind
men! Which is more important, the gold or the temple that sanctified the gold? 18
“And, ‘Whoever swears by the altar, that is nothing, but whoever swears by the
offering on it, he is obligated.’ 19 “You blind men, which is more
important, the offering, or the altar that sanctifies the offering? 20
“Therefore, whoever swears by the altar, swears both by the altar and by
everything on it. 21 “And whoever swears by the temple, swears both by
the temple and by Him who dwells within it. 22 “And whoever swears by
heaven, swears both by the throne of God and by Him who sits upon it.
Jesus called His disciples – then and now – to radical
faithfulness. It’s a key to the kingdom.
Possible hymns:
None of Self and All
of Thee
Let the Beauty of
Jesus Be Seen in Me
More Like Jesus
Take My Life, and
Let it Be
How Great Thou Art
The Providence of
God
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