Likewise,
I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly,
not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but
rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to
godliness.
Here’s a
phrase-for-phrase rendition that captures the idea of this text:
1 Ti 2:9 (NLT) And I want
women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate
clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or
by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10 For women who claim
to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they
do.
A fine young
Christian sister contacted me to ask for thoughts, comments, and conclusions
about modesty. How commendable! Let’s define some terms first, then note a few principles,
and finally ask some practical questions that will help us make godly decisions
in this area.
Let’s Define Some
Terms.
The English word modesty
was first used in the 1530s to mean "freedom from exaggeration,
self-control." The term was taken from Middle French modestie or directly
from Latin modestia "moderation, sense of honor, correctness of
conduct," from modestus "moderate, keeping measure, sober, gentle,
temperate," from modus "measure, manner." The meaning
"quality of having a moderate opinion of oneself" is from 1550s; that
of "womanly propriety" is from the 1560s.
“Modesty” in 1 Tim
2:9 renders the Greek word αἰδώς (aidṓs). This was an old term, rare in
Hellenism, revived by Stoicism. It denoted reverence, e.g., for God, divine
things, rulers, and parents, as well as respect for laws of hospitality,
marriage and family, the state and its laws. Applied inwardly, it could then
suggest a “sense of shame” but also a “sense of honor” in contrast to
shamelessness or insolence. The only sure instance in the NT is “modest
demeanor” in 1 Tim. 2:9. – Theological Dictionary
of the New Testament, Abridged in One Volume
Let’s Note Some Principles.
Here are some
principles that I have accepted and want to emphasize.
Modesty is a trait
that godly men – not just godly women – must pursue. We are all called to be
humble and self-controlled, to avoid seeking undue attention, and to reject an
overemphasis on externals. This post addresses modesty mainly for females
because this was the question that was raised. “What do we teach our girls
about modesty?”
Modesty in 1 Tim 2:9
is especially used to describe the clothing and outward appearance of Christian
women. The primary reason given is not the effect that women’s immodesty may
have on men, though that is very real. It is not the loss of reputation that
may result from immodesty, though that happens as well. The primary reason
given is that Christian women are modest in appearance because they are godly
and holy. This motivation must be so strong that it will enable our sisters to
resist the world’s pressure to be less than modest.
Modesty does not
refer only to one’s outward appearance, but to one’s attitude, speech, and
behavior. That is, modest clothing reflects a modest person. One who is humble,
godly, and unselfish in heart will speak, act, and dress modestly as a result.
Before asking, “What shall I wear?” I want to ask, “What kind of person am I?”
Modesty means that
it’s not about me. I don’t have to have the spotlight or be in the center of
attention. I don’t have to have people praise me. My identity comes from the
God who created me and the Lord who rescued me. I want the attention to be
drawn to Christ and not to myself.
Modesty is coupled
with “self-control” in 1 Tim 2:9. That word describes one who is taming their
pride and their tongue, who is not extravagant or narcissistic, who limits what
they say, what they do, and what they wear.
While we all want to
look our best and be our best, we do so for the Lord and within appropriate
limits. If we speak, behave or act immodestly, in order to draw maximum
attention to ourselves, we are not doing so for the Lord, and so we will not
stay within appropriate limits.
Here is a
complementary passage on this subject, though the specific word “modesty” does
not appear here:
1 Pe 3:1 In the same way,
you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are
disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of
their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3
Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold
jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the
heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is
precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy
women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to
their own husbands …
Let’s Ask Some Questions.
When making moral
decisions it often helps to start with the underlying questions. The first
question is not, “Why can’t I wear _____?” We can only answer that question
after we have asked the more basic ones. Once we define the primary questions
we are really asking, we’ll be much more able to answer the others effectively.
Some may be asking: “How
can I get ____ to notice me?” “How can I fit in with all the other girls?” “How
can I show that I’m ‘with it’ by wearing the latest styles?” “How far can I go –
how short or how low can my clothes be – without going too far or violating a
dress code?” “How can I convince my parents that I’m not over-exposing myself?”
“How can I change or alter my clothes after I leave the house?” These are
dangerous questions!
So let’s choose some
very different ones!
Does God care what I
wear?
Am I wholeheartedly committed
to holiness and godliness, as a genuine disciple of Jesus Christ?
Am I secure in God’s
love for me, so that I do not primarily need the approval of others to
establish my worth?
Do I consider myself
to be modest (humble, self-controlled, sober-minded) in my thoughts, speech,
and behavior?
Do others consider me
to be modest (humble, self-controlled, sober-minded) in my thoughts, speech,
and behavior?
There are two
outfits I could wear. Will I choose the one that best reflects my faith and
submission to the Lord?
Am I sufficiently aware
of sin, temptation, and Satan’s attempts to destroy me and those who see me? Can
I describe how these factors relate to the clothes I wear?
I am thinking about
wearing ______. Would other godly, Christian girls wear it?
Am I resisting the
desire for popularity and the attention of worldly-minded boys by the way I
dress and behave?
If another girl were
to wear ____, would I consider her to be modest and godly?
If another girl were
to wear ____, would it bother my brother or my father?
Am I willing to wear
what is more modest, to avoid any issues?
Do I dress in a way
that tells “loose” boys, “I am not interested in drawing your attention to me?”
Do I dress in a way
that tells godly boys, “I am a child of God who will maintain high standards
and not cheapen myself?”
Am I more concerned
about my influence and my example than “wowing” people with my appearance and
drawing male attention?
Let’s close with a
powerful admonition from the Word of God. As we take it to heart, and put it
into practice, we will have no trouble being modest in thought, speech,
behavior, and dress.
Eph 4:17 So this I say, and
affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles
also walk, in the futility of their mind, 18 being darkened in their
understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is
in them, because of the hardness of their heart; 19 and they, having
become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of
every kind of impurity with greediness. 20 But you did not learn Christ
in this way, 21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in
Him, just as truth is in Jesus, 22 that, in reference to your former
manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in
accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and that you be renewed in the
spirit of your mind, 24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness
of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
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