In our current study called “Joseph – A Life of Many Colors,” I’ve invited the members of our class (both those attending in person and those watching online) to share their own experiences related to favoritism and jealousy in their families. Each one has given me permission to pass their comments along. Thanks to each of you!
Nancy Boyd: My grandparents & family on my father’s side always treated my oldest sister like she was the smartest person & hung the moon & Mary & I were nothing special. My mother always made sure we were all given the same amount of gifts & the same amount of discipline when we misbehaved. She didn’t want to make a difference between us. She also loved on us after we had been disciplined & discussed why we were disciplined. I had wonderful parents.
Rhonda Cox: Oh, yes! There was a bit of favoritism when my brother and I were growing up. My Mom favored my brother, Dan, and my Dad was a lot easier on me! There were feelings of jealousy now and then…..but never anything that caused a big rift between my brother and me. As adults, my brother and I now joke about it. We never doubted our parent’s love. We believe they loved us equally, but sometimes they showed their love for us in different ways.
I am really enjoying this study of Joseph! Thank you!
Michael Di Paolo: I was the guy who wasn’t sure he would ever be married. I was 31 when I met Janis and it was game over. I dove headfirst into marriage. I never thought I’d have kids so when we decided to have kids I again dove in headfirst.
One of the smartest things I’ve ever done was to learn my daughter’s personalities when they were little. They are very different. So I spent time with each of them growing up doing things that they liked. They are both my favorites but in different ways. I never tried to make them be the same. Also, I always told them they could grow up to do anything. I never directed them at anything in particular. It worked. We are very close. Even today, I do different things with each girl - for example, Melissa and I cook together because we both enjoy it. Laura and I always did outdoor things together. My girls and I used to do some things together as a group like roller blading or shopping. I learned how to shop and am really pretty good at it just to be able to spend time with Janis and the girls. I still talk to my girls weekly and they are 39 and 41 now. We still enjoy going out to breakfast together when their schedules permit. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty close.
I think favoritism kills relationships of all kinds. I try to be the same way with my 7 grandkids. I ask: what do you like to do? My injury has really made everything more difficult but at the same time has kept us close.
Landon Hinsdale: Favoritism is nothing more than boldly shouting one’s covert allegiance. The action puts family/people on a totem pole to show them how much they are not loved. And dangerously flirts idolatry putting someone’s love above God.
Kathleen Whitson: For some reason this came to mind. I had not thought of it in years. My MOTHER WAS THE BABY OF 5 daughters with an age span of 12 years. The oldest took the role of “mother”. The next to the oldest was the instigator of everything mischievous. My mother was indeed the baby.
When my Mother was about 3-1/2, the instigator talked the younger ones into having my Mother’s funeral. They put her in a box, sealed it, and had a full funeral with hymns and eulogy. I don’t know the passage of time, when my Grandmother went looking for my mother and heard muffled crying. She rescued her from the box. I don’t know what punishment was administered. I do know my grandmother did not spank.
My Mother was then claustrophobic the rest of her life.
Just an interesting story of siblings.
Loving your class.
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