I could not find an estimate of the current cost of the investigation, but it is well over $1,000,000. I say that because there is now a $1,000,000 reward offered for information leading to the identification and arrest of whoever is responsible. That does not include the on-site research, the video camera data, the meetings, the salaries, the man-hours, the DNA testing, the reporting, and so much more.
My point? There is a concerted effort to find this precious person. No matter the cost involved, no matter the time required, no matter the effort invested, she must be found. Those closest to her, and those who know her best, will not rest until she is returned or until all resources and tools have been utterly exhausted.
It may surprise you and me that so many are doing so much for just one person. Or this situation may awaken you and me to the value of just one person. We may say to ourselves, “Someone knows what happened to her! Someone can identify the person(s) responsible!”
We may take it a step further. We may resolve that, if we had personal evidence or knowledge to share, we would do so without hesitation. Our motivation would not be based on the million-dollar reward, at least not exclusively! Haha! We would want her returned and the guilty person(s) prosecuted.
Jesus implied that one soul is worth more than all the world. Note his words:
Mark 8:36 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? 37 For what can a man give in return for his soul?
So … who is the Nancy Guthrie that you know?
She – or he – was part of your church family, just as truly as Nancy Guthrie was part of her physical family. This person worshiped with you, sang with you, prayed with you, and shared the supper of the Lord with you. Perhaps you shared the same pew or Bible study group. This person and you have had the same Father, the same older brother, the same faith, the same hope, and the same love. You were bought with the same blood. You faced the same kinds of struggles. You looked forward to the same great, eternal reward.
You and she – or he – were taught to regard and treat one another as follows:
Rom 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor… 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality… 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
But now your “Nancy Guthrie” is gone, out of sight, vanished.
What happened? Is she alive? Did she move? Was she taken hostage? Did some perpetrator make off with her? Did she fall into sin?
You may realize that there were warning signs, and maybe you missed those signs. She – or he – had pulled back from ministry projects. She cut back on her attendance. When she returned, she sat alone, physically isolated. She arrived just when worship started and left before the service closed.
Who were her – or his – friends? Was she a regular participant in a Bible class? Was she discouraged … frustrated … neglected … ignored?
Here’s the next question. What’s it worth to try to find the “Nancy Guthrie” you know?
Flawed assumptions and approaches
This is her problem. She’ll come back if and when she chooses.
She never really made an effort with me. It’s a two-way street.
She just got her back up about someone or something sometime.
I’ll talk to other people about her, and we’ll make our best guesses.
I don’t know what to say or do. I don’t want to get involved.
I wonder why her close friends at church seem to be dropping out, too.
It’s the elders’ job, or the ministers’ job, to assist her.
Clear biblical instructions
Matt 18:12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. 14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
Gal 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
2 Tim 2:23 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,
Jas 5:19 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
Effective steps and strategies
Pray. Pray. PRAY. Be as specific as possible, but know that only God is fully aware of what has happened, when, where, why, and how.
Ask God to help you value this soul as he does. He spared no expense. “God so loved the world that he gave his only son … (John 3:16).” Ask him to fill your heart with his love for “Nancy” and with his desire to bring her home.
Find your “Nancy Guthrie.” You don’t need the FBI, the sheriff, and the police! Your “Nancy Guthrie” is in your church app or directory!
Set as your goal, not just getting “Nancy” back to church, but ministering to her in her pain and in her concerns. Your first aim is to let her know that you care. As you often hear, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I like to add, “And they don’t know how much you care until you show how much you care.”
Do no harm. Any perceived arrogance, condescension, or prejudgment on your part will hinder or completely prevent healing and restoration.
Make contact – just to express your love and interest. You could begin with a card, follow that with a text, and then make the phone call.
Offer to meet for coffee or lunch, her choice, your treat.
Listen. Listen. LISTEN. Ask open-ended, non-judgmental questions.
Assure her – or him – of your absolute confidentiality. She will only share her concerns with you to the extent that she trusts you. Of course, you would be required to report any situations involving imminent risk of harm to her or others, any suspected child or elder abuse, and any court-ordered disclosures. This is your legal obligation.
Allow her to express her criticism, disappointment, or frustration openly. She may feel (and need to articulate) anger, grief, resentment, and/or sorrow.
Realize that she may be unhappy with the elders, the preacher, and/or the members. She may name specific individuals, not as a matter of gossip, but as a matter of her own personal distress. On the other hand, she may put most of the blame on herself.
Do not respond defensively. Instead, reply with, “Please tell me more.” “Help me understand why you feel that way.”
Paraphrase. “Let me see if I get what you are saying. Please correct me or clarify your concerns. Are you saying that (put in your own words) …?”
Say, “I’m so sorry you had that experience. That would bother me, too.”
If “Nancy’s” own personal sin, temptation, or negligence has been at the root of her troubles, encourage her to think about it and talk about it to whatever extent she is willing. Ask her to examine herself in the light of God’s word, since you are not her judge. Help her consider what steps she needs to take to make things right with God, with others, and with herself.
Do not break her confidence to anyone without her specific permission, unless of course there is a legal requirement to do so.
If it seems appropriate, pray with “Nancy” before you conclude.
Arrange a follow-up visit before you leave. It can often take multiple visits to open her – or him – enough to tell you the real heart of their struggle.
You may also ask her, “Is there another trusted Christian friend, perhaps an elder brother or sister, that you’d like to join us next time we visit?”
Conclusion
There’s a “Nancy Guthrie” in your life. You know, love, and care about her – or him. What’s happened? Who’s going on the search? Who will make sure that everything possible is done to bring her home?
You will. You must. You can – with God’s help. God bless you as you go!
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