Civility

Johnny was a Boy Scout, and he was required to do a good deed every day. He was also expected to be home every afternoon by 4:00. One day it got to be 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:00. Finally at 6:30 Johnny walked in the door. Parents upset. “What took you so long?” “I was helping a little old lady cross the street.” “2-1/2 hours late?”  “She didn’t want to go!”

Our culture is civilized, right? To “civilize” is to bring a place or people to a stage of social, cultural, and moral development that is more advanced. It is to enlighten, improve, refine, and cultivate. “Civility” refers to courtesy, manners, and politeness in behavior and speech. So, what happened to it? Why is our world so crude and rude? And what can we do about it?

What is Civility?

To “civilize” is to bring a place or people to a more advanced stage of social, cultural, and moral development. It is to enlighten, improve, refine, and cultivate. “Civility” refers to courtesy, manners, and politeness in behavior and speech.

Civil – from French and Latin for “citizen.”

Civics – study of citizens’ rights and duties.

Civil War – sounds like an oxymoron! It's a war between civilians.

civilize (v.) c. 1600, “to bring out of barbarism, introduce order and civil organization among, refine and enlighten,” from French civiliser, verb from Old French civil (adj.), from Latin civilis ”relating to a citizen, relating to public life, befitting a citizen; popular, affable, courteous,” alternative adjectival derivative of civis ”townsman” (see city). Intransitive meaning “become civilized” is from 1868. 

Last week – Syracuse University permanently expelled the Theta Tau fraternity after footage emerged earlier this week of its members participating in a racist, sexist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic skit, Chancellor Kent Syverud said.

The Daily Orange, an independent student newspaper, obtained and posted a video in which a fraternity member makes another one swear to hold onto hatred for African-Americans, Hispanics and Jews, using racial slurs for those groups. Later, another student, using a derogatory word for Jews, makes a veiled reference to gas chambers in Nazi Germany. In the video the students also exposed themselves to each other and posed in immoral positions.

What is Theta Tau, you ask? From their website, thetatau.org: “Theta Tau is the nation’s foremost Fraternity for Engineers! ... Our mission is to develop ENGINEERING LEADERS for Service, Profession, and Brotherhood. The fellowship, academic support and personal growth our Brothers find in Theta Tau make all the difference in their personal and professional success.”

Bad enough that such events occur. Even worse that they are planned, promoted, and taught. And enjoyed.

The secular world’s answer? Answer? Expose them! Censor them! Expel them! Monitor all fraternities! Threaten them! Make them behave!

Make more laws! Outlaw more words! Put everyone in diversity classes, anger management classes, and tolerance classes!

The secular world treats the symptoms but fails to address the cause of such conduct.

Our US President, with his famous tweets, repeatedly uses terms and phrases that many think lack civility. As one of the more tame examples, he recently used the word “slimeball” to refer to the former head of a federal agency. The slurs and insults go back and forth between the highest officials in our land, not two different from the behavior of rude boys in a schoolyard.

What Difference Does Civility Make?

Contrast: Judges vs. Ruth (same era)

Judges: Chaos Without a King

Ruth: Life Under God’s Rule

Ru 2:4 … Boaz said to the reapers, “The LORD be with you!” And they: “The LORD bless you.”

Ru 2:8-10 Then Boaz said to Ruth …

Note this article, not even based specifically on biblical teaching, about the difference that civility makes in the workplace.

Why Civility Matters in the First Place - Sharone Bar-David

http://www.sharonebardavid.com/2015/02/civility-matters-first-place/

Consider the game of curling, where a stone has to make its way safely into a target area over a sheet of smooth ice. Two team members sweep the ice to allow the stone to move smoothly to its destination.

Civility is the smooth ice that enables people to perform at their best, leading to best results for the team, the organization, and those who it serves. (If you’re a manager, think of yourself as the sweeper whose job it is to ensure the path is clear.)

Here are some of the ways—a partial list—that civility supports organizational and team success:

1.   Performance. People who are treated with respect are able to focus. Their mind is not bogged down by worry, their brain is not flooded with memory-impeding stress hormones, and their time is not spent on second-guessing whether or not the uncivil person intended to belittle or dismiss them. With focus, they perform at their best.

2.   Trust and teamwork. Respectful relationships yield trust, and trust in return makes people support each other, collaborate, hold themselves and one another accountable, be flexible, lend a helping hand, deal effectively with interpersonal problems, and work together toward shared goals.

3.   Customer service. The focus, trust and teamwork that civility brings about result in effective, smooth and cheerful service.

4.   Engagement and retention. Employees who feel that the organization treats them with respect and that its managers are actively ensuring that everyone is dealt with in a civil manner are highly invested in the success of the enterprise. They are less likely to depart prematurely.

5.   Innovation. Innovation relies on people’s sense of safety and trust. A civil work environment creates a milieu where new (and possibly unconventional) ideas can be shared and explored without fear.

6.   Health and safety. A civil work environment is a psychologically safe one. In a world of ever-growing rates of mental health illness on the job, a civil environment prevents the triggering or exacerbation of mental health problems (and the associated high levels of absenteeism and benefits costs). Furthermore, focused and calm employees are much less likely to engage in hazardous behaviour or be involved in workplace accidents.

The advantages of upholding a civil work environment are almost common sense. And yet—have you noticed?—incivility continues to exist uninterrupted in most organizations.

What Happened to Civility?

2 Ti 3:1 (ESV) … in the last days … times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God …

What are the Principles of Civility?

It begins with God. Mk 12:28ff; Jas 3:9-12

It is patient, kind, not arrogant or rude. 1 Co 13

It builds up; it does not tear down. Eph 4:29ff

It respects others’ hearts and space.

It chooses to rise above. Mt 5:38-48

It begins in the home. Eph 5:22-6:4

It must prevail in the church. Gal 5:13-26

It says “Please,” “Yes, sir,” and “Thank you.”

It is evident – or not! – on social media, TV, etc.

It can transform all who practice / receive it.

It can impact the world and workplace. Col 3:23

It can open the door for the gospel. Col 4:2-6

How Can We Maintain Civility?

2 Ti 3:10 (ESV) You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, 11 my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me.

Civility – Choose it! Teach it! Live it!

Let Me be a Little Kinder, Less of Me

Songwriters: Glen Campbell

Glen Campbell, Roger Miller, Statler Brothers, Oak Ridge Boys

Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those about me
Let me praise a little more

Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me

Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waver
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be

Let me be a little meeker
With the brother that is weaker
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me

Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Let me serve a little better
Those that I am strivin’ for

Let me be a little meeker
With the brother that is weaker
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me

Try a Little Kindness - Tim Surrett

Songwriters: Bobby Austin / Curt Sapaugh

If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds he’s sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and say, you’re going the wrong way

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you’ll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Don’t walk around the down and out
Lend a helping hand instead of doubt
And the kindness that you show every day
Will help someone along their way

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you’ll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you’ll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Possible hymns:

Angry Words

Prince of Peace, Control My Will

O To Be Like Thee

Let the Beauty of Jesus Be Seen in Me

I Want to Be More Like Jesus